This blog was established to provide an online community for the friends and family of David Friedman. David was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer in
May 2011. It was determined at that time that the cancer was not curable, and the subsequent treatments (both chemotherapy and radiation) would potentially extend life and make him more comfortable but were only palliative. Recently he has discontinued these treatments and is in the care of hospice.
As one of David's friends or family members you are invited to write comments, stories, memories and to submit photos to enrich this community. We ask only that you identify yourself, as we have decided that no anonymous comments will be accepted.
It seems like just yesterday we were climbing trees, playing cowboys and Indians, burning plastic army men in the fireplace, daring you to invite Susie Young to sleep over, defending you against Matt McDermot's insults, playing poker in college, you rescuing me from lousy dates and bad hitch-hiking experiences, sharing memorable moments at the hospital when your beautiful daughters were born, talking you through a crises or two, laughing, crying and so much more. Where did all that time go? Even when you've been an arrogant pain in the ass I've always loved you and you'll forever be my baby brother. It seems you'll be taking this next journey on your own ~ paving the way for the rest of us. I can't protect you the way I recall when we were growing up but I can love you for eternity and I will. You'll always be my baby bro. I admire your grace and dignity and gain strength each day in the knowledge that your spirit is getting stronger. I love you!
ReplyDeleteI read this earlier today and wanted to share it: "The journey is where the action is at! When you catch yourself using if-then thinking, bring yourself back to the present moment by saying, 'In this moment, I am in acceptance of all my life - its challenges and its joys. I am blessed.”
ReplyDelete(Written from Cousin Howard)
ReplyDeleteDavid,
I know you have lived your dash. I am so proud to be part of your family.
I am proud to be part of the people closest to your amazing Mom and sisters.
I am thankful to Suzy for never forgetting to let me know of your journeys
And how much you are loved but Deanne, your children, and Suzy.
For all of us who have not taken the time to live as David has lived-please
Take a little of your time for the Dash.
Gloria and Leon and all of the Friedman’s with and without the same name—
Love you dearly.
Cousin Howard
The Dash
by Linda Ellis copyright 1996
I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone,
from the beginning…to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.
So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?
(Written by Rusty)
ReplyDeleteHi David, it has been ages since I last saw you, but I can remember when I first saw you. You were a few days old and the first thing I said to your Mom was, “wow, he has big feet” (I’ll bet you thought I was going to say something else, huh?. The big feet meant you would be a tall one, and I was right on that count. My dearest remembrance of you was when you were a toddler and your parents bought a Slip and Slide and you came running over to me to show me your new Whip and Wide. I said, “oh, you got a new whip and wide?” and you were furious with me for mispronouncing it and said, “Not Whip and Wide, WHIP and WIDE.” You know David, sometimes it seems like only last week we were all together on Crescent and having fun.You did so many cute things and when Dick would come home from work and I’d tell him all those cute things, he usually looked at me and said, “Who’s David?” That became a standing joke for a long time. Well, he does know who you are, David, and he sends his love, also. Where have all the years gone? You have done well, David, raising three wonderful girls. Well, I remember when I first said “Hello” to you and now we know we must say “Goodbye”. You are in our thoughts and prayers for you not to suffer any more pain. So, David, with tears in my eyes and an ache in my heart, not only for you, but for your mom and sisters, God’s speed, Love, Rusty XXOO
(Written by Nancy Schaufele)
ReplyDeleteHi David,
I'm keeping up with you through my secret sources. It seems that life has taken you for quite a wild ride. Speaking of rides... remember when I took you up to the mountains on my horse Jazz? I actually wondered what the hell I was doing putting a stranger on my horse to wander through mountain trails. I never worried about the horse but I did wonder about the rider. You seemed quiet and yes, a bit arrogant. But over the course of the ride those perceptions changed. I remember stopping for lunch, sitting quietly by a mountain stream, and thinking "he's really quite a nice guy." We shared alot during that ride together and I remember telling your sister that I enjoyed both you and the ride. We survived the trail and enjoyed each other's company.
Looks like your next trail ride will take you into mysterious mountain trails - a pack-trip we will all eventually take. When you canter up the mountain, please tell my friend Mustang Pati that we're not far behind. You are riding this last stretch of trail beautifully - centered, balanced, and being present in the experience. Do not worry about those left behind. They will be fine. You have given them what they need to get through this.
Just be....
Take care my friend. Gallop with abandon and wildness - we are not far behind.
Nancy Schaufele
(Written by Susie Young)
ReplyDeleteWords cannot express the heartache your news brings all of us. And even though we haven’t seen each other in so many years, you and your family will always remain so close to my heart. We were just like family --- didn’t I practically live at your house growing up? Those were such good times – life was so easy (for us anyway, right?) One’s childhood is so important – and I look upon those times as some of the best in my life. I still remember so much from those days on Crescent, how it took FOREVER to teach you how to ride a bike (it was painful!!) but you finally learned ---- how we would make trains with our bikes and wagons, and could actually ride (w/out supervision) up and down the street and to Peter Marshall school….how we would run thru the sprinklers, do the Slip and slide, then lay on the hot sidewalk to warm us up and make shapes with our bodies. And this thoroughly entertained us! Such simple things. And how we would all meet at Curry’s Ice Cream parlor on our bikes after you guys had moved to la Palma, then ride back to your house ----remember making your Mom’s car into a ‘tent” and sleeping in there? And playing the Anchen game? Having her run and attack us ….How we played the dart game in the garage: turn out all the lights and then hide and someone would throw the darts and see if they hit anyone? YIKES !! What were we thinking? How Susie K got on the stilts, and we were laughing so hard we let her fall flat on her face? And those plays of Deanne’s !! (Susie was always the boy !!) and we would draw pictures (like, draw a good face, bad hair, whatever) and then we would shuffle the pictures and have to make a decent picture out of them ? No one ever wanted your picture ! (sorry David!) You were always such a good sport , we really gave you the raw end of the deal most times -- Being stuck with all us girls….! But we loved you then, and we love you now, and FOREVER-----
My life has been so enriched by all those good times, (heck, if it weren’t for you asking if I could spend the nite so many times I probably never would have) what was up with that anyway? I love you David, and you will always be in my heart. I wish you a safe journey in the next phase of your life (I do believe that is what it is…another phase
In our lives). Get things ready for us up there ----- we will be seeing you soon. Love you David ------ Susie Young
The Invitation
ReplyDeleteOriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, 'Yes.' It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.